A Series of AbsentMinded Events
by FranklyDarko
Summary: LightxL random/funny/cute things that occur while Light can't remember he's Kira. May add more eventually... And yes the title is a spoof on the Lemony Snicket books
1. A Lack of Tissues

A Lack of Tissues A Lack of Tissues

"ACHOO!"

The sneeze L tried and failed miserably to suppress awoke Light Yagami from his usual peaceful sleep.

"Please tell me you're not sick Ryuzaki…" Light yawned, sitting up quickly, already wide-awake.

"I'b fide." A small voice murmured.

L had his face shielded by his pillow. Unfortunately, this didn't do much good in keeping Light away from him because of a pair of handcuffs that constantly bound the two of them together.

"You sound horrible." Light said, lifting the pillow off of L's face and peering into his dark eyes.

The ominous dark circles always beneath L's eyes were, if possible, larger than before, carving heavy lines into his otherwise young face.

"Augh-how on earth did you get so sick?" Light exclaimed, watching snot dribble from L's nose and leaping away without factoring in the shackles.

The sudden motion sent L flying to the other side of their bed.

"SHIT! I'm sorry Ryuzaki…"

L shook off his discomfort and began to rise.

"No, zeriouzly, I cad burk." He insisted, getting groggily to his feet.

Light folded his arms and glared furiously down at the pathetic detective.

"You're doing anything but sleeping and having soup, I'm afraid." Light declared matter-of-factly. There was a quality of unwavering authority in the young man's deep voice.

"Lide-kud…"

"Shhh."

He pressed hard but carefully on L's shoulders to make him lie down.

"You're probably sick because you eat all those sweets and get MAYBE ten minutes of sleep per day."

L, in his defeated position, merely shrugged.

"Your nose is disgusting." Light stated frankly.

L turned his head toward him.

"Do you hab a tizzu?"

A rush of sympathy invaded Light's heart when he saw L's exhausted face, so childlike and vulnerable in this rare moment of weakness.

"I don't think so. I can't leave either, or you'll have to follow."

"It'z okay." L said, stopping to sneeze.

Light's heart lurched.

"Here." He said, holding out part of his pajama shirt.

"Use that for now. I can change later."

"I'b feel bab."

"Don't."

Considering the horrendous condition of his nose, L gave in and cleared his face with Light's shirt, feeling disgusting and guilty afterward.

"Does that feel a bit better?"

L nodded, his face slightly pink.

"You should try to sleep, Ryuzaki."

L just looked at him.

Light put a hand to L's forehead to check for a fever. He felt no out of the ordinary temperature, but at his touch L grabbed his hand.

"I won't hurt you!" Light said, confused at his reaction.

"I doh." Was all L replied, not letting go even as his eyelids started to droop.

"Now I definitely can't be Kira, huh? I doubt Kira would start acting like a nurse if he found you sick."

"I hobe dot." L whispered before falling deep into sleep.

"LIGHT! YOU FORGOT ABOUT OUR DATE!"

Piercing, feminine cries caused L to shoot up in bed, his clogged head throbbing. Misa had arrived.

"Misa, keep it down please. Ryuzaki isn't feeling well." Light grumbled at his ever-obnoxious pseudo-girlfriend.

"But LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!! I haven't even SEEEEEEEEN you today!!"

On top of everything else, L was now feeling a headache coming on.

"I'm sorry." Light whispered to L, rolling his eyes at Misa.

"Well, now you have." Light said definitively.

He waited for her to make her way out of the room. Misa, not taking the hint, edged closer to Light, leaning forward so her cleavage was on display.

"You know Light-kun…if Ryuzaki is-er, indisposed…we could…"

Light didn't let her finish her sentence.

"That's obviously out of the question! Now go-PLEASE."

"Light-kun why are you being so mean to Misa? We're lovers you know!"

"Only according to you." Light grumbled.

"Now PLEASE leave."

"Fine, but only because you asked me, Light-kun." Misa pouted, skipping off at last.

Whatever. Light thought, ready to do a victory dance when she finally left the room.

"You cad be quide cruel subtibes Lide-kud." L said, yawning hugely.

"Well, she gets on my nerves."

L rolled onto his side and fixed his huge eyes on Light.

"Do I?"

"What?" Light asked.

"Do I ged od your nerbs?"

"Only sometimes." Light responded, half-laughing.

L moved onto his back.

"I'b sorry I'b sick." He breathed.

"It's not your fault. Besides, I don't mind looking after you, Ryuzaki. You're almost cute when you're this subdued."

The words left Light's mouth thoughtlessly. He moved a little as if to erase what he'd just said by shaking it off.

"Why are you being do dice doo be?"

"We're friends aren't we? Even if you think I'm a mass-murdering psychopath."

L smiled.


	2. Un Coup De Foudre

Un Coup De Foudre Un Coup De Foudre

Everything L knew about the nature of love he based on observation, books, scientific research, and psychological studies. No opportunity for friendship ever occurred in his childhood, let alone for romance, so when he got squeamish watching his favorite suspect Light Yagami sleep peacefully beside him, he thought his little cold had become the flu.

L, at the moment, was not sleeping.

Thought this in itself was not unusual, something aside from work and insomnia was keeping awake.

There was a thunderstorm.

L knew it was silly to be afraid of thunder and lightning. Logic told him they were forces of nature completely incapable of causing harm to him while he was safe inside, perched on a pillow with his laptop. Unfortunately, reason could not keep him from jumping at the crackling sounds outside. He distracted himself with his laptop, mostly in vain, until a huge burst of noise came and suddenly his screen went black. L had forgotten to recharge his battery, and unluckily the storm had brought on a blackout. Without the soft bluish glow of the computer, L was left in pure black. The absence of sight slowly sunk in. The only source remaining were the violent chains of lightning that struck every so often. L no longer felt secure within the room's walls. The darkness ripped away visual proof of safety, and terror was writhing inside him. He needed a diversion, preferably in the form of something sugary and covered with sprinkles-however, in order to obtain anything of the sort, he would need to move closer to the dreaded window and also wake up Light.

Normally L would not even considering annoying Light a significant problem-sure he'd been nice the other day, but all things considered he didn't care too much if he pissed him off. The problem was that if he roused Light and the teenager sensed him worrying, it could cause long-term problems as far as revealing his one, stupid weakness.

A roar of thunder sounded, coming from a closer location this time. L had no choice.

"Light-kun,"

He poked Light's shoulder.

Nothing happened.

"Light!" he repeated, a little louder.

"Mmm…what?"

"Get up."

Light shook his bangs out of his face and rose sleepily.

"Why? It's not morning yet."

"I need cake." L explained, already feeling a little less freaked now that Light's voice intertwined with the thunder.

"You must be joking."

"Come on,"

L pulled on the chain binding them together. Light reluctantly complied, sliding off the mattress and following L. Crossing the kitchen, L felt an absurd urge to grab Light's nearby hand. He controlled it just barely, clenching his fists to resist the waves of fright and the mysterious new feeling of his stomach inverting.

"If you slept like a normal person you wouldn't get cravings this late at night." Light sighed.

They made it to the kitchen. Light flicked the light-switch, not realizing the electricity was not of use at the moment.

"There's a blackout." L informed him.

"Well how are you going to find your cake in the dark?"

"I'll manage."

L couldn't see Light rolling his eyes. He wandered over to the refrigerator at the other side of the room.

"I hope you're at least going to share with me for making me go through all this trouble." Light joked.

A brilliant light suddenly flashed by them. L had completely forgotten about the kitchen window. Thunder engulfed his ears, and overcome by it all, he rushed into Light and clung desperately to his waist.

"Ryuzaki! What the hell?"

L barely comprehended, shaking violently. Light opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and instead put his arms around L's shoulders.

"What are you so freaked out about? It's just a storm. It'll end soon."

The tone of Light's voice was gentle.

"I hate thunder." L said, the words muffled from his head being pressed against Light's chest.

"Yeah, well, it's just a bunch of noise. Don't be so weird about it."

L loosened up slightly at Light's words.

"Better?"

L wrapped his arms around Light shyly, closing his eyes, at peace. Light's heart forgot how to work for a second.

"Um…Ryuzaki?"

All calm left his voice.

"I never knew people were so warm. It feels nice." L said, half to himself.

Light patted L awkwardly on the head.

"Er, yeah…"

Light was torn between shoving L away and yanking him closer. L sensed he was doing a crazy thing, but the same part of him that gave birth to his stomach gymnastics told him he was happy.

"I apologize, Light-kun. I act strange when this happens.

L's brain regained control and he felt his arms empty themselves of Light. In the dark he could not see the deep blush covering the other boy's face.

"It's okay."

Without words they returned to bed, but not to sleep. Light closed his eyes, but his mind never settled down. L's trembles were still running down his arms it seemed, the soft black hair was still against his hand…this could not be happening.

L was no longer naïve to what he felt for Light, but the full knowledge of it was even more of a problem. How was it possible that he felt totally safe only in the arms of the man who was most likely Kira?


	3. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Happy Birthday!

Light diligently worked for hours, barely acknowledging the passage of time. Beside him, L jingled the chain, trying to get the focused teenager's attention.

"Light-kun,"

"What is it Ryuzaki?" Light replied, sounding annoyed by accident at the unexpected interruption.

"Isn't tomorrow your birthday?"

For the first time in ages, Light turned away from the screen.

"You're right! How could I have forgotten something like that? How did you even know that?"

L curled his toes.

"I have an entire file on you Light-kun, since you are a Kira suspect."

Light frowned.

"You've made that all too clear." He reminded L, raising his manacled wrist.

L was unperturbed by the comment.

"Why do you mention it?"

Light was actually a bit flattered that L had remembered trivial information like that. Then again, before he got too appreciative, he should be certain L wasn't merely using this as some weird Kira accusation.

"Well I didn't know if you wanted to do something…special?"

Light flipped his swivel chair all the way around to stare full on at L.

"I'm sorry-what?"

L quickly snuck his head down. His nose rubbed against his knees.

"Just wondering."

L's bangs hung in his face, blocking his expression. Had Light not doubted L capable of most human emotion, he would have sworn his cheeks were red beneath his hair.

"Well, I wasn't planning on anything, but Misa might want to have a date or something." Light considered.

"Oh. Right."

L's voice went deadpan.

"Something wrong?" Light asked.

Ignoring him, L rang up Watari for some ice cream.

The next morning, Light found L curled up in a ball at the very end of the bed with his eyes wide open.

"You kind of scare me, you know?" Light sighed.

"Happy birthday."

"Thanks." Light smiled a little.

After thoroughly washing his hair for maximum silky effects, Light wandered back over to the bed and began going through a box of files on Yotsuba.

"You want to work?" L asked incredulously.

"I can't just take a break from the Kira investigation because I'm a year older Ryuzaki. Besides, Misa could interrupt at any moment, so it's important that I get this done now."

L's face darkened but he didn't vocally respond.

"Well, later on can you work in the kitchen? I might want a snack."

"Sure."

The morning passed with no word from Misa at all. The hyperactive model was most likely still in bed. Light worked consistently till mid-afternoon when L insisted he needed to make something using the kitchen and its supplies. Light heard him furiously stirring in a corner of the room but could not bring himself to look away from his readings.

"LIGHT!!"

Misa had let herself in, dressed impeccably in Lolita attire.

"Happy birthday sweetie!" she cooed, ensnaring Light in her tiny arms. L nearly vomited into his sugary concoction.

"Er, thanks." Light said awkwardly.

"I've planned an extra-special birthday surprise for YOUUUUU."

"Oh. Really." Light found it hard to feign interest. L's mixing was growing louder and even more energized.

"Yes!"

Misa proceeded to divulge an extra-nauseating list of romantic activities while Light got steadily more reluctant to do something with her. L suddenly became silent.

"Misa-san, I'm afraid Light-kun will not be able to attend those with you because we have just unearthed new information and have to interpret it."

Both Light and Misa turned to him.

"NO NO NO! THIS IS MY BIRTHDAY DATE WITH LIGHT!" Misa whined.

"I'm sorry." L said, not sounding very sincere.

"But Ryuzaki," Light began.

"YES! BUT RYUZAKI! PLEASE!"

"No."

Misa was now on the verge of tears.

"Go away now."

Misa burst into sobs. L snapped.

"GET OUT OF HERE MISA AND TAKE YOUR ANNOYING LITTLE VOICE WITH YOU!"

She fled the room, forgetting even to say goodbye to Light.

Light turned on L as soon as she was gone.

"Ryuzaki! You can't just treat her like that! That's awful. And what was with that lie about the investigation?"

"You don't care about her Light-kun."

"She's a human being!" Light shouted.

L did not respond.

"You however, I'm not sure about. You're absolutely incapable of any kind of emotion indirectly related to yourself! You're selfish and kind of cruel."

L, who had been clutching a bowl of cake batter to his chest, dropped it when his hands suddenly began to shake. The glass split and scattered across the floor, trailing batter all over the tile and splattering onto L.

"Ryuzaki? What?"

L's eyes were wet. Light bent down and peered at him intently.

"It's not that I'm incapable of emotion-it's that I'm shy." L whispered.

Light glanced at the mess in the kitchen.

"W-was that for me?'

L nodded.

"I couldn't even get the cake right. Typical." L said bitterly.

"Hey, it's all right. That was really nice of you." Light said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder."

"It's not. It's not all right at all. I ruined the cake and you just want to be with Misa, but as you said I'm selfish and I didn't even let you do that."

"No I don't want to see her! Wait…are you…jealous?"

L blushed.

"You are." Light declared.

"Let's not talk about it." L breathed, turning away.

"Ryuzaki…"

Light moved closer.

"Your cake isn't ruined. It's still yummy…see?"

Light brought one of L's batter-drenched hands to his mouth and licked some from his finger.

"L-Light?" L gasped.

Light took another finger and sucked gently at the tip, licking longingly down his finger and sucking just slightly harder the further he went. He noticed a drop of batter clinging to L's ear and licked it away playfully. L yelped in surprise.

"Do you like that my little detective?" Light purred, pulling L against him in a tight embrace.

"Yes…" L breathed, wrapping his arms around Light.

Light kissed him softly, running his hand through L's hair. L, inexperienced and nerve-wracked, tried his best to match the pace and expertise of Light's mouth, but all he really accomplished was embarrassing himself severely by shirking away when Light's tongue got involved.

"Sorry!" L blurted, not looking at Light.

"Don't worry. I won't do anything you don't like," Light whispered.

"It's not that…I'm just…bad at this."

"Trust me, you're not."

Light cupped his face in his hands and kissed him again, leading L into his mouth and holding him close as the kissing progressed to make him feel more at ease. Eventually the kisses grew fierce, and without considering L's reaction Light shoved his hand up his shirt and caressed his smooth skin clumsily. L didn't mind at all at this point. He clung to Light and giggled uncontrollably as the teenage boy began covering his stomach with kisses, starting to give him a hickey where the waist of his pants began.

"I might have to eat you instead of the cake Ryuzaki!" Light said playfully, nibbling gently near L's belly-button.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE STOP IT!" L laughed, collapsing against Light with a huge grin plastered on his face.

"Ryuzaki…"

A deep, mature voice interrupted L's squeals of delight. Watari was staring at the two boys through the doorway, frozen.

L's giggles evaporated.

Light's mouth quickly removed itself from L.

They both stared at Watari.

A minute disguised as a century passed.

"AND THAT'S WHAT KIRA WOULD DO WITH DATE RAPE DRUGS! THAT'S WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO CATCH HIM NOW, RYUZAKI. LET'S STAY MOTIVATED!" Light shouted seriously at L.

"Huh? OH. You're so right Light-kun. I never even considered what Kira would do with drugs. His manipulation powers would be doubled."

Watari gazed at the pair of them for another minute before backing out of the doorway, completely forgetting to deliver the message that brought him there in the first place.


End file.
